Suicide Note

by Stephen Paden

Life is unbearable, or so it would appear
when all things around me invoke such a fear
to take all the risks that I once longed to take
In a life that I owned, that I worked hard to make

Love is a longing for something not there
It carries your soul on black waves of despair
It pulls you apart when it crashes ashore
And it eats at the flesh till it reaches the core

Pain is a feeling that brings such delight,
When the palely-lit demons arrive in the night:
“We will love you and care for your every desires,
but first let us go to the infinite fires.”

“I’ve changed my mind, life does have some good,
The thoughts that have plagued me are now understood.
I just needed time to wake up and repent
I take back the request the ravens have sent.”

“It isn’t our place to deny or approve,
we were summoned to help you; that’s what we do.
The ravens were sent and the message received,
and now that we’re here, we surely can’t leave.”

“Oh God, Oh God, what have I done?
My body’s so weak that I surely can’t run
from the specters that seek to perform my last will
this reckless decision looms over me still.”

“Look down at your hands and behold your request,
The dark, liquid life pouring over your chest.
The time’s almost here just relax and be still,
In a moment no more will your broken heart feel.”

“Okay, I submit, for I don’t have the will,
to prevent you from carrying me over that hill.
I have loved, I have lost, I have suffered these things;
I look forward to knowing what death has to bring.”

“You vision will blur and the world now will dim,
as we carry your soul through the fires to him.”

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