Today was mixed. I went to the doctor and talked about therapy and hormones, and he was extremely positive (I am losing weight, he likes that) about the positive medical effects of transitioning. That gave me hope.
However, tonight I talked to someone whom I’ve known for fifteen years, was very good friends with, and he has made the decision that “He is not the friend I need anymore.” I get it. I understand why he is freaked out, but friends bond through life experience, apparently not video games and political beliefs. But, like I said, I get it. I’ll always love him like a brother.
This is not something I asked for. Everyone saying this is ‘out of the blue,’ doesn’t understand what I have felt all these years. How could I talk about this during an era where this was NOT accepted in any form? Transgenders are getting killed for walking on the streets, now. This is not a fairy tale I am trying live in where I get to wear women’s clothing and have girls’ night out. I have to do this or I am going to die emotionally, and maybe physically.
I don’t care what anyone thinks. This is not about them. I am not hurting anyone.
I am not an activist. I don’t want praise for this. I am documenting my experience to map the road I am taking.
I am moving forward.