My Journal – 6/12/2016

There have been pseudo-studies trying to understand the suicide rate among transgender folk, like myself, and I wanted to shed some light on the real problem.

Most people think we are mentally ill. No. Not the case. We have, historically, been depressed, but let me touch upon that. Ciswomen, hear me out. Imagine for a moment, that in your entire life, you have been been told that you couldn’t leave the house without wearing male clothes and no makeup. Imagine that. I’m pretty sure you can’t. You’ve never had to do it. It is what we have been told is ‘normal.’ We transwomen and transmen, are normal. People who show no empathy, are not.

Imagine, cismen, that you were only allowed to wear women’s clothing and makeup to be presentable. You can’t and you won’t. Why? Because you cannot step out of the house as someone you are not. Welcome to our world.

Transwomen and transmen have been asked to to ignore who they are their entire life just to make you feel comfortable and ‘safe.’ But I ask you, why do you feel unsafe when we present ourselves authentically? Are you that insecure with your sexuality that you feel the need to ridicule us and, worse, kill us, because we are exploring, not transgenderism, but happiness? Are you that weak?

Transgender men and women are not killing themselves over what you call mental illness. We are doing it because we are targets of ab use and murder for being who we are. We are pariahs in our vulgar display of happiness. We are vilified for living the American Dream.

The very best human beings I have ever known are trans. I don’t include myself in that, because I don’t even hold a candle to these awesome women.

But don’t mistake me. I know who I am. Gender-wise, human-wise, etc…

I love my community. I would take a bullet for them. I am not an activist. I’m a girl who wants to live and have fun.

I’m also a girl who would give my life to make sure my sisters had a future where life and fun wasn’t a risk.

For my sister Chrissy Garrison.

2 thoughts on “My Journal – 6/12/2016

  1. Your post is soo beautiful that it brought me to tears. “Transwomen and transmen have been asked to ignore who they are their entire life just to make you feel comfortable and ‘safe.” i knew i was a girl when i was 5 but because of my family, i have not done anything about it to keep from breaking their hearts. My children will disown me, my spouse and i will divorce and even after 34 years of marriage she will not have anything to do with me because “she’s not lesbian.” My brothers and sisters will cease to even acknowledge that i exist if i transition so i continue to ignore who i am……………….sigh.

  2. That is heartbreaking. Are you sure this will be the outcome? I was surprised that only a few friends and family left. My kids have been amazing. My parents don’t fully understand, but they want me to be happy in all things.

    Be strong, dear. We have one life, but I understand that sometimes our life doesn’t fully belong to us only.

    Wishing you the best. ❤

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